GO AND SLEEEP NATTTT! i think im thinking about something cos i cant bring myself to sleep but i dont know what im thinking about. i want to quit my job and travel the world. but im too chicken to quit now. maybe after 3 months.

i want to redecorate my room. i need to take down those newspaper articles and my diagram of the krebs cycle &photosynthesis. i need to develop my photos. i need to repaint my walls and figure out how to stencil on them. in london, i fell in love with a wall paper from laura ashley:
i think my mom went mad in london. she kept telling me to buy everything and i kept telling her everything is too expensive. it should have been the other way round! so anyway. ive decided to paint at least one wall of my room ivory. and do stencils in cranberry and raspberry. and my mom semi agreed to unlocking the back door in my room so i will have my own entrance! except that you have to take the stairs... haha! and i also want to kiddy string of monsters that light up from borders but that costs 46 bucks.

i also want to get a penpal. i think penpalling is like talking to a wall except that this wall can reply. but i dont know if i can commit to buying stamps and all that jazz constantly.

i want to make my journal entries prettier. my journal's name is Quinn. all her entries look so boring): looking at other people's artistic journals online makes me a wee bit jealous! haha

i want to go shopping. shopping in london was quite blah. it was nearing the end of the sales so there wasnt much to buy. my mom thinks that anything on sale is cheap cos it used to be more expensive. but i think you have to multiply it by the exchange rate first! but now i kind of regret not buying some stuff. hahah.

remember in onetreehill the class was made to summarise that they want the most in life at that point into one word? well what i want is certainty. i hate the state of limbo that i am in right now, not knowing what comes next. well i suppose uni comes next right? but which one? and then theres the a level results to worry about. and i know a lot of people would say oh please what are you worrying about blah blah blah. but at this point im not confident of anything. okay maybe except a bit of math which i quite enjoyed. and it's not just school but life after that. will i enjoy my work, will we still be the same, will i live happily ever after... perhaps what i really want is to be contented. time and time again i find myself having to remind myself to just trust in God's plan. His grace is sufficient, and He will provide. He always provides. but it really isnt easy to let go.

bel's lunching with me tmr((: id better go sleep now so that i wont be a zombie when i meet her. sorry if i havent been keeping in touch with some of you. some days i just feel like im floating on by.

i look at the stars from my window sill
the whole earth is moving, but im standing still